How to Save What You Have in Common

How to Save What You Have in Common

There are couples who come to the conclusion “we have nothing in common, so it is better to split up”. And they do split up, without even trying to save the relationship.
But is there really nothing in common between the two of you? At one time you met, fell in love and it did not even occur to you that there is nothing in common between you. On the contrary, you sought and found a lot of things you had in common. You were happy that you like the same movies and books, you dreamed about the same things and had the same view upon a lot of things. Where have these similarities gone?

The fact is that they have not gone anywhere, you have simply forgotten about them. You were concentrating on the differences between you, rather than the similarities. We choose what to see in the other person, and our choice determines the fate of our relationship. You need to cultivate and nurture all that is good between the two of you like a beautiful garden. For the differences not to overshadow the similarities, it is important to treat similarities as a value. We should remind ourselves and each other of everything that brings us together and unites us. And such things are present, even if we decide to go separate ways, because “we have nothing in common.”

There is a reason why we are all looking for a “soul mate” – a person that would be easy for us to understand, a person like us. And we can become very upset when we find out that our partner is very different from us. If you look upon things differently, even if it seems at times that you are talking different languages, it does not mean that you are strangers to each other. It is normal to be different. All people are different, and that is why life is exciting and diverse. Another person is like another universe, another world. You do not judge another universe because it is not like ours, do you?

Even if your loved one is very different from you, you can establish a good relationship, if you seek to understand him or her. To make it easier to understand the other person, remember that the motives of his or her words or actions are not always obvious. Instead of interpreting these words and motives try to look at the situation through the other persons eyes, and talk to him or her heart to heart, without reproaches and complaints. Do not say “I do not understand him/her,” say “I want to understand.” Do not judge by yourself, do not attribute your feelings to your partner! You may perceive the same situation quite differently. You may have your own opinion and still respect and love each other.

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