Communicating with loved ones, we shouldn’t be afraid to give of ourselves. We should make every effort to not only listen but also hear the other person. Before you start a conversation, tune into a friendly and respectful mode and be open to the perception of the other person’s feelings.
Do not start a serious conversation, if you feel that your inner state does not meet these criteria. And if you understand that your are correctly tuned for the conversation, follow some communication rules:
• Give up the habit of interrupting the other person
• Focus on the words of the interlocutor, to really capture their meaning.
• Free yourself from bias, don’t tell yourself, “I already know what he is going to say.”
• Try to understand not only the words but also the feelings of the other person.
• Be friendly during the conversation. Nod, play along, showing that you are listening. Ask clarifying questions.
• Try not to change the subject onto yourself or to end the conversation with general words. This can be taken as a token of indifference.
• Don’t say your opinion until the other person has finished speaking. Don’t give advice if he doesn’t ask.
• Don’t argue, even if you don’t agree with what the partner says. Recognize his right to his own point of view., It is not dangerous if you can’t reach a consensus – we don’t have to always agree with everybody.
The worst thing we can do for ourselves and for others is to begin to suppress negative emotions, harboring resentment or anger. Suppressed emotions will anyway break through, often indirectly. Besides, hiding our feelings, we will never be able to change anything for the better, but it will for sure create tension in the relationship. Therefore it is very important to learn to talk about your feelings. How shall you do it without ruining your relationship? Here are some tips:
• Don’t start the conversation at the top of your anger
• Don’t keep the conversation in a raised voice
• Don’t allow even a hint of sarcasm or evil irony
• Whatever happens, don’t go into resentful silence
I will continue this topic in my next blog …
