All of us, for sure, have met people who can forget about themselves, about sleeping and eating, but for the sake of others will go through fire and water. These people are altruists. The desire to help others is worth both sympathy and respect. On the other hand, such active participation in the life of others may lead to complete self-denial and dissatisfaction with your own life.
Especially those who are unsure of themselves and of their right to have own interests are at risk to get stuck in this trap. There is only one way out: start to focus on your own life, and not someone else´s. Only a person who cares about him/herself and pursues his/her own interests can benefit other people.
How to become a “healthy egoist”?
1. Define the boundaries of your “territory”.
Every person needs his or her own private area, which nobody, even the closest people, has the right to interfere with. Your thoughts, feelings and desires – all of this belongs to you. No one can force you to give it up.
2. Find a hobby.
Find at least some time to engage in an activity you enjoy. The time used for your own pleasure can never be regarded as wasted. This time is necessary for your development, health and well-being.
3. Learn to say “no”.
Many find it very difficult to say “no” to other people. We are afraid to offend the other person, or fear that they will get a bad impression of us. Learn to say “no” firmly but tactfully, without offending anyone. And you do not have to explain to anybody why there is something you do not want or like. Remember – everything concerning your thoughts and feelings is your personal “territory”!
